Catching Up

It’s been a while since I last wrote. The last time I wrote a post was back in November of 2019 when I was getting out of training. Well, I am glad to report I am out of the schoolhouse and officially in the Fleet Marine Force. I’ve learned a lot of lessons in the past few months and I am feeling particularly inspired tonight so here we go…

I injured myself during training and I’ve been stumbling to recover since then. I went home in December for Christmas and got to surprise my family. It was a great time and I was glad I was able to pull it off. I went through both my schoolhouses to rate my MOS title and while I was doing this, I was new to life away from home. I knew the stretch from Christmas and the next time I would see my family back in California would be long and it has. I haven’t seen them in going on seven months.

One lesson I’ve learned however, is home isn’t a place. It’s the people you surround yourself with. I call home a barracks room now, but I am surrounded by a family I chose. I came to North Carolina with a handful of friends and because of one, I have gained more. Family isn’t always blood. It can be a coworker or a best friend. I have had more laughs and adventures in the past few months than I thought possible, and yes, it does suck to not be in California with my family, I am making the best out here.

I injured my left knee and because I wasn’t in one place for so much time, I wasn’t able to fully recover. Now that I’m at my permeant duty station, I’ve got the time but now it seems the injury has only gotten worse. I was faced with the very real fear of being separated from the Marines because of it. I was scared. Suddenly I’m being told that my plan of doing twenty years might be done at barely two. I had to create a plan, but then I realized. By creating a plan for a fallout, I was believing there was going to be one. I let these people get into my head that I would be gone in a year or two. I had to sit back and remember who I was.

I lost a hundred pounds to get in. I had to grind and grind for four years. Early morning and late night gym sessions, not going out with friends to eat junk food, dealing with not being able to what I wanted to eat because I had a goal. It sucked and yet I did it. I had people telling me I couldn’t and man, it was amazing to show them that I did. So why all of the sudden was I letting these people tell me the same thing just in different words? Easy. I let my head get the best of me.

You define your life. You define what you’re going to do and how you’re going to do it. There is no status quo. It’s your life so you can hit people with a plot twist any time you want. Tradition is just peer pressure from dead people. I don’t know if you’re reading this blog because you heard about my trial to get in or if you stumbled upon it by accident. If you’re looking for a sign to get out of your head and do what you want, THIS IS IT.

I wasn’t going to get out without a fight. I had to start being smart about taking care of my knee. I had to workout in a different way, change my diet up to stay in regulation. I wasn’t going to let my knee damage four years of hard work. So, I adapted and it’s hard, but I know in a year, I will thank myself for making the changes I need to be able to fulfill my dream. I’m lucky to be doing what I want to do.

I was talking to one of my best friends last night, one of the ones who is my brother and I know has my back through it all. He told me that this was my life. I knew what I wanted and I went after it. He didn’t know what he was doing with his, that’s why he joined. I have the power in my hands to dictate where or how far I’m going to go.

Find that power inside you and use it. Save for that job, go back to college to complete that degree, quit your job that makes you unhappy, get out of a relationship that is toxic. It’s all you. Don’t let people get into your head. That was the second big lesson I learned.

The third was, you don’t need a relationship to be happy. Trust me when I say this, I looked for one. I had a dating app and I’ve gone out on dates, but I came to the conclusion I was happier with my family. There was no drama, there wasn’t choosing who to hang out with. I am happier spending time up at a different base with family than going out and chasing a relationship that may or may not end up in heartbreak. You don’t need a relationship to be happy. You just need some good friends who support some bad ideas to create great stories for the future.

I’ll be on here more to post progress about life and if you have any questions about anything or want me to write about my experience with something, feel free to email me at cowlestaylor@gmail.com. For my readers who feel alone, I’m here for you too. I understand the struggle for I have had my own bouts of it.

Thank you for reading.