Life is completely and one hundred percent unpredictable. It can be really good then one eighty into shit in the same day. Sometimes it doesn’t happen that quick. Sometimes it takes time for things to go from good to bad, bad to worse, bad to good, whatever the case may be. Life isn’t guaranteed. The only two guarantees there are in life are being born and dying.
You’re probably going “I know this already, why is she going over it?”. I’m going over it because life taught me another lesson last night.
People aren’t constant. As much as we like them to be, they aren’t. It’s a bitter pill to swallow. We find someone we love, we like to spend time with, we create memories. No one thinks about how quickly someone can up and walk the fuck outta your life. Sometimes you’re the one that has to walk out to do what’s best for you. Choosing to walk isn’t easy, but in the end, you gotta do what you gotta do.
I walked away from my two best friends. Some long stories, extenuating circumstances, bumps in the road happened. We all started to change even though we didn’t want to admit it. I saw it, tried to ignore it because I wanted to keep them. I ignored the toxicity of ones actions because I thought I needed someone to be strong, to be okay. Then… I left for three months. The time I was gone changed the distance that was already separating us into strangers practically. I didn’t know them and frankly, I didn’t want to anymore. They were stuck and I was progressing. So I walked and it was possibly one of the hardest decisions I’ve made so far.
I was good for a month until it dawned on me last night, the one who I put so much time into and turned a blind eye to, didn’t even fight for our friendship. He didn’t reach out to change my mind. He let me go as if the five years of firsts and memories and trips didn’t fucking matter. Man, did it sting when I figured that out.
The lesson I learned is that no matter how much work and effort you put into someone, they can always leave without a word. So now, I’m faced with the decision of do I get close and risk getting hurt or hold people at arms length? Play it by ear and by person seems to be the answer. You don’t know people’s intentions. You don’t know what life is going to throw at you when you wake up in the morning, BUT you can dictate how you feel and how you come out in the end.
Live life risky, flirt with breaking the rules and actually break a few. Don’t live life with regrets. If that means loving, knowing you’re going to get hurt, do it. If it means you grow, balls to the wall that shit. No one runs your life but you. No one dictates how you feel and how strong you can be.
YOU decide.
Fitness, Food, and Life 